


living the life you want

by Rose711



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Confessions, Drunken Confessions, Getting Back Together, Love Confessions, M/M, Post-Break Up, break up is forlex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-30
Updated: 2021-01-30
Packaged: 2021-03-16 00:07:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29073048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rose711/pseuds/Rose711
Summary: From the one hundred ways to say "I love you" prompt list. Number 18; "Here, drink this. You'll feel better."Alex talks through his breakup with Forrest and tells Michael what he wants in life.
Relationships: Michael Guerin/Alex Manes
Comments: 8
Kudos: 78
Collections: Roswell New Mexico ▶ Michael Guerin / Alex Manes





	living the life you want

“Here, drink this. You'll feel better."

Alex stared at the glass that had been slid in front of him but didn’t move an inch. Hell, he wasn’t even really staring at it as through it.

The glass slid a little closer to him, hitting his thumb with a soft bump.

“What is it?” he sighed, gingerly wrapping his hand around it.

“Whiskey.”

“I should have figured,” Alex chuckled as he brought the drink to his lips, taking a too-big gulp. “It is a Michael Guerin specialty after all.”

Michael laughed beside him and he couldn’t help but smile; the warmth in his chest wasn’t just from the shot of whiskey.

“Did it ever work for you?” Alex asked but Michael just stared at him with his brows furrowed. Did he always look this cute when he was confused? Alex tried to think back, picturing Michael’s face in various ways, but shook himself out of his thoughts when Michael called his name. “Drinking, I mean. Did it ever really make you feel better?”

“No, it didn’t,” Michael admitted, a tinge of sadness evident in his voice. “But it was something to do and it often made me have to think about things other than what I was trying to forget. So I guess in a way it did make me feel better, but it was always only temporary. It never gave me what I really wanted.”

Alex glanced around the Wild Pony before locking eyes with Michael. He sighed and tried not to get lost in the deep brown eyes that currently bore into his soul. He really wanted to reach out and brush that unruly honey-colored curl off of Michael’s forehead so he had an uninterrupted view of his face but he wrapped both hands around the glass and took a sip, not letting himself lose control.

“I was hoping this was it,” he said after a glass and a half of whiskey and a few minutes of comfortable silence. He laughed sardonically and turned fully in his seat so he was facing Michael, their knees hitting just enough to send a bolt of energy up Alex’s spine. Alex was expecting Michael to say something, urge him on or make a joke, but he just gave him and his thoughts space.

“I was hoping that I would get that picture-perfect fucking life. A boyfriend, who turned into a husband,” Alex shook his head slightly, scoffing at himself as tears threatened. He blinked them back and willed them to stay hidden. “The house, the dog, the garden… all the fucking things you’re supposed to want and have. I thought maybe I could have those things with Forrest.”

Alex swallowed the rest of his drink and motioned for Maria to bring him another. As soon as it arrived it was half gone.

“But you know what?” Alex looked over to Michael and his stomach churned at Michael’s encouraging but pained expression. He shot him a weak smile, the most he could muster, cleared his throat and continued quietly. “I realized I don’t want that damn ideal image of life. I don’t want just the title of boyfriend. I want a true partner, someone who will protect me just as fiercely as I will protect them. I want happiness and laughter, I want everything we do to feel like an adventure. I want to be able to argue and make fun of each other in the same night. I want someone who understands my quirks and annoyances and knows when to let me be. I want someone who knows me, and who wants to continue to get to know me as we change and grow old. I just want a life, fuck all the ‘stuff.’”

The moment he stopped talking it hit him what he had just said. Groaning internally, he downed the rest of his drink; he was already drunk, why not continue. He risked a look at Michael and instantly felt confused. Michael was staring at him almost longingly, a simple grin curling his lips upwards and a look in his eyes that Alex hadn’t seen much of, especially in the last decade. Alex’s eyes shot down to his lap as he felt Michael’s fingers slightly brush his knees.

“I want those things, too,” Michael whispered, a smile in his voice. Alex let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

“I know,” Alex said softly, the alcohol not allowing him to hesitate before replying. Michael looked at him quizzically, and Alex could practically see the thoughts running through that genius brain of his.

“Why did you and Forrest break up?” Michael finally asked in a way that Alex knew he knew the answer. There was no reason to hold back now, he figured.

“My heart is yours, Michael.”

“And you’ve always had mine,” Michael beamed and Alex’s heart melted. He looked at the man in front of him and for the first time in months he felt truly happy. And it had nothing to do with the copious amounts of whiskey in him.

“Can you drive me home?” Alex asked, already thinking of ways to convince Michael to stay the night so they could talk in the morning.

“Absolutely.” Michael waved Maria over, handed her some bills and asked her something. Alex was too high on cloud nine to listen.

“Drink this, you’ll feel better,” Michael said softly, handing him a bottle of water. He took it, making sure his fingers lingered on Michael’s for just a moment longer than necessary.

“I already feel better,” he nearly slurred, flashing him a smile. Michael laughed and Alex swore the entire bar got brighter.

This was the start of his life, he could feel it.

**Author's Note:**

> My tumblr! [ theviewofmylife ](https://theviewofmylife.tumblr.com/)


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